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Friends with Benefits: The Healing Power of Besties

by | Jun 5, 2025 | About, General, Home, Mental Health, News and Events, Prevention, Substance Use Disorder

Two adult women laughing together

There’s nothing quite like a bestie. The adventures. Inside jokes. Emotional support.

A best friend is someone who truly gets you. You can be comfortable with them. They’re there for a good time, but also just a call, text, or snapchat away when you need help.

So it might not be surprising to find that close friendships have a huge impact on your health, both physical and mental.

The benefits of friends

Lacking quality friendships can be more detrimental to your longevity than smoking 20 cigarettes a day.

Having at least one close friend reduces your risk of depression, anxiety, heart attack, and stroke.

Friends change the way we react to stress. You might instinctively feel calmer when sharing your worries with your bestie. But studies show that talking with a supportive friend or having a friend with you when you work on a challenging task can lower your blood pressure and keep your heart rate from spiking. So, next time you pencil in a coffee date, consider it an investment in your wellbeing.

Unfortunately, close friendships are growing rarer. Loneliness is on the rise.

Some of that is connected to digital devices. As the use of devices increased in adolescents, loneliness also increased. Paradoxically, smartphones give us more opportunities to stay connected, but they make us feel more disconnected than ever.

Friendships can be even more challenging when you add behavioral health concerns into the mix. Substance use disorders and mental illness can interfere with healthy relationships.

Supporting a Friend with Mental Illness or Substance Use Disorder

Some tips for helping a friend while keeping healthy boundaries include:

  • Offer open, nonjudgmental communication.
  • Listen actively.
  • Validate their feelings.
  • When expressing concerns, use “I” statements instead of accusations.
  • Gently offer resources such as treatment options, without pressure for your friend to accept them.
  • Establish your boundaries ahead of time and communicate those with your friend.
  • Educate yourself about mental illness and/or substance use disorder.
  • Encourage small steps.
  • Don’t take things personally. You might think your friend is ghosting you, but they are just in a period where they need alone time.
  • Offer practical help, but ask your friend what they need first.
  • Never, ever say “snap out of it.”
  • Remain hopeful.
  • Take care of yourself.
  • Be their friend, not their therapist.
  • Do fun things together. But if your friend is struggling with a substance use disorder, make those fun adventures sober.

Nurturing Friendships When You Have a Behavioral Health Concern

If you have a behavioral health concern, you may worry that it will ruin your relationships. But it’s very possible to have flourishing friendships when you have a mental illness or substance use disorder. Some tips include:

  • Open communication, be clear about your needs. If you find that your anxiety often makes you cancel plans at the last minute, let your friend know this. Otherwise, they may assume that you are no longer interested in the friendship.
  • Understand your challenges, and learn how those may impact your friend(s).
  • Find creative solutions that allow you to work on the friendship while protecting your mental health. If going to a public place to meet a friend causes anxiety, meet at home. If having someone in your personal space causes anxiety, meet somewhere else. And while face-to-face interaction is beneficial, it’s not always possible. If it will make you more comfortable, rely on texting, messages, etc.
  • Handwritten notes and cards can be a low-pressure way to keep in touch during those times when you can’t handle phone calls or visits.
  • Be supportive and empathetic.
  • Don’t assume. You might think that your friend finds you annoying or clingy, but that could be your depression talking.
  • Don’t treat a friend like a therapist.
  • Take care of yourself.

How to Make New Friends

You know that friendships boost mental health, but what if you don’t have friends? As an adult, making friends is more challenging than our school days. Here are some ideas for making friends:

  • Get in touch with old friends.
  • Volunteer. You’ll find people who feel passionate about the same causes.
  • Join a faith community.
  • Join a gym or fitness center.
  • Try a new hobby.
  • Attend support groups.
  • Join a club or sports league.
  • Join online communities.
  • Attend local trivia nights.
  • Be approachable.
  • But also be willing to do the approaching.
  • Assume that people like you. We often miss out on friendships because we think people don’t like us, but research shows that most people underestimate how liked they are.

Some resources for finding places to meet friends:

And Keep the Old

Our team of HopeStarters offered a roundup of ways to sustain friendships.

Other tips for nurturing friendships include:

  • Extend invitations and say yes to them: The more you put yourself out there, the more opportunities you’ll have to connect.
  • Focus on quality over quantity: It’s better to have a few strong, supportive friendships than many superficial ones.
  • Be a good listener: Give your friends your full attention, ask questions, and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. Put away distractions like your phone.
  • Initiate plans: Don’t wait for others to reach out. Suggest activities, outings, or gatherings.
  • Don’t compare yourself to your friends: This can be poisonous to friendships.
  • Use technology wisely: Use social media and online platforms to stay in touch, but strive to move interactions offline for deeper connections.
  • Be flexible: Understand that everyone has busy lives and may not always be able to connect as often as you’d like. Give grace and don’t take it personally if a text isn’t immediately returned.
  • Be a “safe space”: Allow your friends to express themselves without judgment. Sometimes, they just need to vent.
  • Prioritize friendship: Treat your friendships as important commitments, just like work or family.

Additional resources: