As the summer days wind down and the scent of new pencils fills the air, the back-to-school season arrives with a mix of excitement and jitters.
When area kids head back to school, some will carry more than notebooks and No. 2 pencils. They might be hauling around anxiety, depression, and other heavy emotions.
About 20 percent of children have a mental illness–or will have one in the near future. And even for students without a mental illness, the start of a new school year can bring feelings that seem too big to handle.
The first days of school bring new teachers, new routines, and new social dynamics. These provide many exciting opportunities–and more than a few fears and emotional pitfalls.
And while parents might celebrate in the school supply aisles, this time of year brings anxiety for them, too, as they juggle schedules, supplies, and paperwork while working to ensure a smooth transition.
Amidst all the hustle, it’s crucial to prioritize mental health and well-being for both children and the adults who support them.
We can do more than avoid meltdowns, we can foster resilience and create opportunities for children to thrive throughout the school year.
For the Kids: Easing Back into the Routine
The shift from carefree summer days to structured school life can be jarring. Here’s how to help your child navigate the mental health aspects of this transition:
- A week or two before school begins, gradually shift bedtimes and wake-up times closer to the school schedule. This helps regulate their sleep cycles, which are vital for mood and cognitive function.
- Talk about their feelings. Ask them what they’re looking forward to and what they might be worried about. Validate their feelings, even if they seem minor to you. Remind them that it’s normal to feel nervous when faced with new rooms, teachers, and classmates.
- If possible, visit the school before the first day, especially for younger children or those starting a new school. Knowing where their classroom, locker, or lunchroom is can significantly reduce anxiety.
- Focus on the exciting aspects: seeing friends, learning new things, participating in favorite subjects or activities.
- If they express specific worries, brainstorm solutions together. This empowers them and helps them feel more in control.
- Plan playdates with classmates before school starts. Knowing a friendly face on the first day can make a world of difference.
- Keep an eye out for changes in appetite, sleep patterns, mood, or behavior. Persistent signs of stress or anxiety might warrant a conversation with a school counselor or pediatrician.
- Ease morning stress by choosing outfits and packing backpacks and lunches the night before.
- Empathize with their feelings. Tell them that you understand their feelings and remind them that you will help them through the transition.
- Don’t just talk about the things that scare them–ask your child what excites them about the new year.
- Set clear rules and boundaries, while letting them know they can always come to you with any concerns they have.
For the Parents: Taking Care of Yourself Too
Parents often put their children’s needs first, but neglecting your own mental health during this busy period can lead to burnout and make it harder to support your kids.
- It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. The back-to-school period brings a lot of logistical and emotional demands. Acknowledge these feelings without judgment.
- ust like for kids, having a routine helps adults manage stress. Try to maintain consistent sleep, meal, and exercise schedules.
- If possible, share back-to-school tasks with a partner, family member, or trusted friend. You don’t have to do it all yourself.
- Keep your expectations realistic. The first few weeks might not be perfect. There will be forgotten lunches, misplaced homework, and challenging mornings. Be kind to yourself and your children.
- Even small pockets of time for yourself can make a difference. This could be reading a book, listening to music, going for a short walk, or connecting with a friend.
- Connect with other parents. Sharing experiences and tips with other parents can be incredibly validating and provide new perspectives.
- If you’re feeling persistently anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist, counselor, or support group. Your well-being is paramount.
During times of transition, it can be hard to tell the difference between normal back-to-school jitters and depression or anxiety. Wondering when to worry?
- It’s typical adolescent development to notice a change in behavior related to spending less time with family and more time with friends. Makes sense right? They have more independence, different hobbies, etc. However, be cautious if the adolescent is withdrawing from friends, family, and social activities. Likewise, as we mature, we want more privacy. However, this doesn’t mean becoming secretive or the need for privacy seems to be hiding something. There comes a time when the Barbies, Hot Wheels, and Legos are replaced by other activities (from childhood likes to teen pursuits). If your child is losing interest in everything, dig a little deeper in your conversations. It’s okay to get a new favorite activity. We’re concerned when a favorite activities isn’t replaced with a new and improved favorite activity.
- Use every day moments to keep the conversation going with your child. We have some of our most “interesting” conversations in the car.
- Some warning signs for depression/anxiety in children/adolescents could include:
- Increased irritability/outbursts of anger
- Noticeable change in sleep/eating patterns (either increased or decreased)
- self harm (pay attention if your child is wearing long sleeves/pants in the summer time)
- withdrawing from friends; isolating from former friend groups
- trouble concentrating
- comments that denote feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness
- increased thoughts/comments about death/suicide
- school refusal
- continuous complaints of upset or nervous bellies which may be related to anxiety
- difficulty making or maintaining friendships
Any substance use by a minor is a cause for concern. Check out “Talk. They Here You.” From SAMSHA to practice these important conversations.
Some signs that your child could be abusing substances include:
- Increased secretive behavior (such as deleting text conversations, not allowing parents to see their phone)
- Increased dishonesty
- Missing school
- Loss of interest in former hobbies
- Grades declining
What should you do if you need additional help? Give us a call. We offer mental health and substance abuse counseling. If you’re worried about a child harming themselves or someone else, call our emergency services line: 540-373-6876. We offer specialized crisis services for children.
You could also find therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists using Mental Health America of Fredericksburg‘s helpful provider list.
And, if you want to learn more about how to help youths experiencing mental health or substance abuse crises, we offer Mental Health First Aid training.
On a lighter note, if you want to share some encouragement with your children, here are some notes to leave in their lunch boxes.
You could also download this list of tools for back-to-school; these tips for parents; and these tips for heading back to middle school.
The back-to-school transition is a significant event, but by proactively addressing mental health for both children and parents, we can ensure a smoother, more positive start to the academic year. A little preparation and a lot of empathy can go a long way in fostering a mentally healthy environment for everyone.